Wilderness Therapy
by Calcitrix
Summary: Duke sends two teams of Joes into the wilderness for a month long exercise, but he's stacked the odds against them. Alternating chapters follow each of the teams and will be posted in pairs.
1. Flint's Team, Departure

Flint walked out to the tarmac where his team's helicopter was waiting. In fifteen minutes they would be heading out for a long assignment. He was in charge of a small group of Joes for a month, and it was his responsibility to make sure that each was prepared to spend that time in a remote location with no supply drop-offs and only emergency radio contact. They would be taking with them everything they would need to turn a dilapidated building into a small base fit to house up to ten men. The mission required several skills and a dedication to hard work.

Unfortunately, Duke had given him Lady Jaye, Alpine, Footloose, and Bazooka. Worse, Flint suspected that for him, this mission was also a test to see if he could deal with a non-battle command position involving the more…independent members of the team. If Duke had only been concerned about completing the mission, Flint was sure he would have been assigned different personnel. It could have been worse, of course—Beach Head was in charge of a similar mission; he had been given Shipwreck, Cover Girl, Mainframe, and Aritight. At the very least, it would be interesting to exchange stories will the drill sergeant at the end of the month.

His team's gear was waiting to be loaded into the helicopter. Another one would be carrying their food, tents, and building materials. Flint looked over the pile of duffel bags. It seemed like there were too many bags for just five people. He checked the tags and saw that Bazooka had packed two extra duffel bags for himself and that Lady Jaye had managed to pack a total of five. He shook his head, wondering what she could possibly need. He hefted one of them, feeling the weight. It was heavy, as were the others. He unzipped one of them, but it contained nothing more than extra clothes and toiletries. Flint was about to open the next one, but was interrupted.

"Can I help you with something?"

Flint stood and turned, watching Lady Jaye close the distance between them. "Yes, now that you're here. I was wondering why you packed five bags."

She raised an eyebrow. "So you weren't just digging through my underwear?"

He nudged the duffel with his boot and said, "Fine. I don't need to look if you tell me what's in the other bags."

Lady Jaye shrugged. "I asked Duke if I was allowed to bring extra supplies along and he approved it."

"We have plenty of supplies," he told her. "Why do you need an extra four bags?"

"I like to be prepared."

"For what?" he asked, incredulous. "The next ice age? We're only going to be in Colorado for a month. What could happen?"

"You never know." She walked over to her bags and slung the first over her shoulder. "Don't worry—I'll carry them all." She heaved the bag into the open doors of the helicopter and reached for another.

Flint sighed and bent down to pick up the next duffel. "If Duke says it's ok, I'm not going to argue. But for future reference, I am in charge of this group." He threw her bag through the door, and it landed with a thump. "You should have asked me." He knew he sounded petulant, but he didn't care. This was his mission.

Lady Jaye smiled sweetly at him. "You would have told me no."

He shook his head. It was going to be a very long month. Alpine walked over and joined them, asking, "Aren't there only five of us going? What's with all the bags?"

"They're mine," Lady Jaye answered. She saw his mouth open and said, "Don't ask, okay?"

"I'd probably rather not know," he told her with a lift of his shoulders. "Girl stuff, I guess. But if those bags contain a TV and a satellite dish, you'll let me watch Monday Night Football, right?"

"This is a serious mission!" Flint barked. "It's not a vacation."

"Man, someone didn't eat his Cheerios this morning," Footloose commented, walking onto the tarmac. "Chill out—we'll get the work done."

"We have to work?" Alpine laughed. "Guess I can unpack my bathing suit."

Bazooka joined them, completing the team. He picked up his bags and threw them in the chopper. "Ready," he said.

Flint looked them over. He was used to giving little speeches before a mission, but that usually meant they were heading into battle. Still, he thought that it was best to get them in the right mindset now and make sure that somewhere in their gear they had everything they needed. Once they got out there, they'd be on their own.

"Last check, everyone," he began. "You should have packed a climbing rope, a harness, a compass, knife, canteen, warm clothes, lots of extra socks, and a med kit." Everyone nodded, and he continued. "Good. Hopefully you all brought soap and a toothbrush?"

They nodded again, and Lady Jaye said, "Yes, dad."

He frowned at her, but ignored the comment. "Everything else we need was packed into the other helicopter. Until we get the base livable, we'll be sleeping in tents. I'll go over our assigned tasks once we get there. This should be a fairly easy mission, but we do have work to do. The others are counting on us to prepare a base that's sturdy and weatherproof. If you have any problems, I'd prefer you ask for help rather than try to solve them on your own."

He took a clipboard from the passenger seat of the helicopter and marked off the checklisted items. "I think that's it. Let's get loaded."

Everyone boarded the chopper, and Flint waited until he saw Wild Bill exit the garage and get into the supply helicopter before sitting in the pilot's seat of his team's transport. He started the rotors and lifted off.

They made good time and arrived in the small clearing ahead of schedule. Wild Bill landed nearby and they all pitched in to unload the supplies and building materials. They made a pile on a tarp near the run-down building they would be fixing up, and covered it all with another. Their food boxes were put inside the shelter to discourage bears and other wildlife.

Wild Bill stayed long enough to help them set up three tents and unload the sleeping gear, then gave them all a tip of his hat and took off.

Flint and the others unloaded their own bags and put them in the tents. Lady Jaye and Bazooka insisted on putting their extra bags in the shelter with the foodboxes, and Flint didn't argue. If they went in the tents, there wouldn't be enough room for them to sleep.

It was just getting dark when they finished. Flint put Bazooka and Footloose in charge of gathering wood and starting a fire, while he and the others went inside to look more thoroughly at the state of the building. There were holes in the walls and roof, but overall it was sound. It had obviously been abandoned for a while, though, and all of the rooms—two large main areas, a kitchen, and five tiny bedrooms—were filthy.

Finally they turned to the foodboxes. "What did they pack for us?" Alpine asked, rubbing his hands together. "I hope it's not all MREs… we need real food if we're going to work hard every day." He eagerly lifted the lid of the first box. His face fell. "Pork and beans?" he asked. "No, thanks."

Flint opened the second box. "This one is full of cans of pork and beans, too," he said.

They all looked at each other in dismay, moving to the other three boxes of food. They were all the same.

"Oh, this is nice," Lady Jaye commented. "Didn't you check the supplies, Flint?"

"No, Duke told me he did that," he responded angrily. Flint wondered if Duke had planned this. He wouldn't put it past him. He should have known enough to double check it himself. Apparently he'd failed the first part of the test.

Alpine held up a can. "Well, I guess I know what's for dinner. And breakfast. And lunch…" He grabbed two more and said, "Well, might as well grab a pot. If I'm gonna eat pork and beans, at least it can be hot." He walked back outside.

Lady Jaye shrugged and opened the box of utensils. Flint watched her carry the supplies outside, but stood there a moment more, staring at the five large boxes containing the only food they had for a month. He wondered if it could get any worse. He sighed and headed outside.

The temperature had already begun to drop. Even though it was mid-summer, they were high enough in the mountains that the nights still held a chill. Fortunately the fire was roaring, and Bazooka had dragged a few logs around it to serve as seats. Alpine was starting dinner—if they could call it that—and Lady Jaye was telling the others about the food situation.

"I must have accrued some seriously bad karma," Footloose said.

"Nothin' wrong with pork and beans," Bazooka argued. "I love 'em."

"I am so not bunking with you, man," Footloose replied.

Alpine looked over at Flint and said, "Maybe we should give Bazooka his own tent."

"What?" Bazooka asked. "Why?"

"Nocturnal emissions."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind." Alpine patted his friend on the back. "I'm sure Flint would love to share a tent with you."

Flint rolled his eyes. "Let's go over our assignments." He wished they would take this a little more seriously. He sat down and pulled out the envelope Duke had handed him before they left. Reading over the sheet, his eyes widened.

"What's wrong, Flint?" Lady Jaye asked.

"Nothing," he replied tersely. "Okay, according to Duke, we need to make a geographical map of the area, find a site for a radio antenna, dig permanent latrines and get the generator running, build a dock on the river, and of course, fix up the base." He paused, looking at each of them in turn. "Bazooka, you're supposed to make the map; Lady Jaye, you're in charge of climbing the surrounding peaks and testing the radio reception; Alpine, you dig the latrines and work on the generator; Footloose, you're going to build the dock. That leaves me to work on the repairs."

They stared at him, stunned. Alpine let out a burst of laughter and said, "Pull the other one, Flint."

Flint shook his head. "Those are the assignments Duke gave us," he told them.

"You're kidding," Lady Jaye said.

"No. I'm not." Flint held up a hand to forestall any other arguments. "I'm sure Duke has his reasons. We're all being evaluated here on our performance. Let's just get the work done."

Their first meal was eaten in silence. Flint watched the fireflies dancing above their heads and wondered if Duke wanted him to fail, or to succeed under adverse conditions. It didn't matter; he planned on making sure his team not only finished their tasks, but finished them well.


	2. Beach Head's Team, Departure

Beach Head watched as his team loaded their gear into the transport chopper. Cover Girl was having trouble with her extra bag, and the others—Shipwreck, Mainframe, and Airtight—weren't helping. Instead they were making rude and suggestive comments. "Hey, doll—you packed your special nightie just for ol' Ship, right?" the sailor asked. She ignored him and heaved the bags into the helicopter.

Beach Head saw Wild Bill give a thumbs up from the supply helicopter. He would follow behind as Beach Head flew his team to their remote location in Wyoming. The drill instructor hoped that they all had everything they needed. He refused to mollycoddle them, though. If they forgot anything, that was their own bad luck.

He couldn't believe that he was going to be stuck in the back of beyond with these four people for a month. On top of that, Beach Head got the feeling that Duke was testing the waters and seeing how he dealt with some of the more…interesting characters on the team. He knew them well enough, but on this mission he couldn't exactly make them do push ups if they got on his nerves. It could have been worse, though. Flint was stuck taking Lady Jaye, Alpine, Footloose, and Bazooka to Colorado. Their team had left the previous day. He smiled. It wasn't exactly a competition…not officially…but it would be interesting to compare notes later.

Climbing into the pilot's seat, Beach Head yelled back to his team, "Everyone strapped in? Last chance for a potty break." He started up the rotors before anyone could answer and lifted off. The flight was uneventful, mostly because he couldn't hear his passengers over the sound of the rotors.

They landed in a small clearing and stepped out to stretch and take a quick look around. The building they were supposed to convert into a base looked to be almost falling down. The stone foundation was crooked and the roof was almost non-existent. He doubted it would take them the entire month to fix it, though.

They pulled out their gear and slung the duffels under a tree. The supply helicopter was unloaded within a half-hour—despite Shipwreck disappearing for the entire time to find the best tree to use as a toilet—and Beach Head declined Wild Bill's offer to stay and help set up the tents.

He called everyone together and said, "Alright. Cover Girl, set up your tent. Airtight and Shipwreck, put up the other two. Mainframe and I are going to look around and gather firewood."

"Oh, man, why am I stuck doing the work?" Shipwreck complained.

"Because you haven't done a darn thing so far," Beach Head answered.

He gestured to Mainframe and the two men set off into the woods. It was mostly pines, although a few beeches and elms dotted the landscape. They broke dead branches from the underside of the trees and piled them into a stack to carry back later. Beach Head knew there was a water source somewhere in the area, and they spent a few minutes tracking down the small clear stream.

Mainframe bent down to drink, but Beach Head pulled him back by the shoulder. "Don't drink untreated water unless you want to end up with foaming diarrhea for the next two weeks," he growled.

The computer expert looked disgusted. "Ugh, thanks for the image," he replied. He stood and turned around. "Okay, which way back to camp?"

Beach Head rolled his eyes. "You're kidding, right?" He stomped off back to the woodpile and picked up his share. Mainframe followed, looking around with wide eyes.

"Um, are there bears here?" Mainframe asked.

"Bears, wolves, coyotes, porcupines, cougars, and bobcats," Beach Head answered.

"Oh," Mainframe said in a small voice.

"And rattlesnakes, bighorn sheep, elk, and moose," Beach Head added.

Mainframe swung around, trying to look in all directions at once.

"What's wrong?" the drill sergeant asked him.

"We don't have wolves in Pheonix," Mainframe answered.

"Huh. A Moose is more dangerous than a wolf."

"Really?"

"Sure. Wolves run away. Moose trample you."

"Great."

They made it back to camp without running into any wildlife, though. Beach Head dropped the firewood and stormed over to the other three Joes. "What is this?" he hollered. The tents were not so much "up" as leaning precariously, or, in Shipwreck's case, lying flat on the ground.

Cover Girl looked up. "These tents don't make sense," she complained, gesturing at the spare parts littering the ground.

Beach Head sighed. "Well, for starters, you could use the tarp as a ground cloth and put the rain cover over the top instead of the other way around."

Shipwreck scratched his head. "Is that what this is?" He held up a bundle of cloth.

"No, that's your tent," Beach Head growled. "THIS," he picked up a different piece, "Is your raincover, and the one that looks like a tarp is the tarp." Shipwreck backed up as Beach Head expertly fitted the pieces together. In less than ten minutes, the first tent was up and pegged into place.

Airtight and Cover Girl shrugged and bent over their own tent parts again. With a little coaching, they each managed to put them up. "Now, who wants to light the fire?" he asked his team.

No one volunteered. "Were none of you boy scouts?" he asked.

"I was in academic bowl," Mainframe answered.

"I was in the chemistry club," Airtight added.

"I was a loner," Shipwreck put in.

Beach Head turned to Cover Girl. "What about you?"

She shrugged. "I was a cheerleader."

"Figures. Airtight, can you at least start a fire?"

He nodded, and Beach Head gestured for the others to follow him. "Let's go through the other supplies and set up a roster for meals," he said. "I want everyone to share in the food preparation and clean up." He glared at Shipwreck. "And I mean everyone."

They took the food boxes into the most sheltered part of the house. Beach head lifted the first lid and pulled out a can. "Dinty Moore Beef Stew. Huh. Not my favorite. Let's see what else we've got."

He opened the second box, then the third, fourth, and fifth. "Damn."

"Please tell me there's other stuff underneath," Cover Girl said. She pulled out a layer of cans. They were all the same, down to the bottom. "Oh, for crying out loud…Is this all we've got to eat for a month?"

"Looks like it," Mainframe said. "Did you pack this?" he asked Beach Head.

"No, Duke did." Beach Head frowned. "I knew I should have double checked everything. He did this on purpose."

"We can't live on canned stew for a month," Cover Girl commented. "That's so unhealthy."

"I once lived on anchovies for a week," Shipwreck told her.

"Forget it. We'll be fine. It's just a month," Beach Head muttered. He pulled out a few cans, handed them to Cover Girl, and asked Shipwreck to bring the other cooking supplies. He headed back to the stream to fill a five gallon container with water—he would boil it later—and by the time he returned, their first meal was heating over the fire.

Beach Head grabbed a bowl from Airtight and took the envelope he had been given out of his pocket. He read the information twice, frowning. Finally he looked up and said, "Well, kiddies, here's the plan. In addition to fixing up the building, we have to set up a radio tower, make a map of the area, dig latrines and get the generator running, and divert the stream closer for a water source." He looked them over and sighed. "Shipwreck, you get to work on the repairs; Cover Girl, set up the radio; Mainframe, work on the map; Airtight, you divert the stream. I'll…dig the latrines."

There was a moment of silence, then Shipwreck raised his hand and asked, "Okay, what are our real assignments?"

"Those are your real assignments. Duke's orders," Beach Head growled.

"Well that's just stupid," Cover Girl said.

"Yeah, Duke's just pulling your chain," Airtight added. "Isn't he?"

"No, I don't think he is. Just do your jobs. Shipwreck, you're on clean-up detail tonight. Mainframe, you'll bunk with me. Everyone get a good night's sleep. I'll wake you nice and early tomorrow."

Beach Head showed Shipwreck where the stream was and returned to set up his sleeping bag. It was late enough that he had no trouble falling asleep despite his anger at the situation. Duke was obviously setting him up. Well, he would be in for a surprise. His team would succeed if he had to force them every inch of the way.

The night was peaceful and serene. No one heard the visitor prowling outside of Beach Head and Mainframe's tent. It crept as close as possible and let out a very loud screech. Mainframe shot bolt upright, catching the roof of the tent and bringing it down in a tangle of poles and cloth.

Beach Head fought desperately to work free of the constricting material, finally resorting to drawing his knife and slashing an opening. He stood and looked around the clearing.

A few feet away, Airtight stood doubled over in laughter. "Aw, man, that was great," he wheezed.

Mainframe's head shot out of the opening. "Mountain lion!" he screamed.

Beach Head smacked him on the head. "No, that was Airtight." He turned to the prankster. "Congratulations," he told him. "This is now your tent." He dragged his sleeping bag over to Shipwreck's tent, where the sailor was still snoring loudly. He heard Cover Girl ask sleepily from her own smaller tent, "What's going on?"

A few minutes later, Mainframe crawled into the now cramped space and climbed over the others. "Sorry," he mumbled on the way past Beach Head.

Airtight was plucking at the torn material of the other tent. "Some people can't take a joke," he commented loudly.

Beach Head ground his teeth. It was going to be a very long month.


	3. Flint's Team, Assignments

Flint assembled his team in the morning. He had let them sleep in a little, figuring that they should take it easy the first few days to get used to the mountain air. They grudgingly ate their pork and beans for breakfast and went over in more detail what each team member was expected to accomplish. They each had a walkie talkie in case of emergencies, and all the supplies they'd need for the day. He hated sending them off to obviously ill-matched assignments, but Duke must want to see how they handled it, so…

Flint made sure that everyone had the equipment they needed and watched as they left one by one. He turned to face the building. He was not very experienced with this kind of thing. Looking at the tools and supplies, he was overwhelmed. Should he start on the roof? The walls? Somewhere else? He had no idea. Sighing, he picked up a clipboard. He could at least make a list of what needed to be done. Maybe at lunch someone could tell him where to start…

Bazooka looked down at the clipboard. Somehow he had to turn the blank pages in front of him into a detailed map that included major land features, elevation, and trails. His small pack held a GPS device, binoculars, and survey equipment that he didn't know how to use. He sighed, looking up at the tall peaks around him. He supposed it made sense to get an overhead view first. He began to climb…

Footloose stared at the wide river, then at the pile of timber on the bank. Somehow he had to make a dock that wouldn't float away. But how? Obviously the posts needed to be sunk in the river bottom…but his only gear was a pair of hip waders and a mallet. He pulled on the waterproof overalls and took a tentative step into the water…

Lady Jaye looked up at the sheer cliff face. Somehow she was supposed to get to the top of it and wave around a radio antenna. She clutched the rope and harness, remembering back to the few practice sessions she'd had with Alpine. Of course, those were on a fake wall in the gym, and she never got more than twenty feet off the ground. This cliff was a lot higher than that…

Alpine stood in front of the generator at the back of the building. He'd managed to put gas in the tank, but the contraption refused to start. The small tool box contained several items, the uses of which he couldn't even begin to guess. With a grim expression, he started pulling the machine apart. Maybe the problem would become obvious once he looked at the inside…

Flint finished his list and checked his watch. He had circled the building for two hours, and he wasn't sure he'd gotten everything down. It wasn't nearly lunch time yet, but he thought it might be a good idea to check on his charges. He could hear Alpine swearing behind the building; apparently fixing the generator wasn't going well.

"Hey, Alpine," Flint greeted his teammate. He scanned the parts littering the ground. "Will we have electricity tonight?"

"Maybe next year," Alpine retorted. "I don't even know how a generator is supposed to work—how am I supposed to fix one?"

Flint shrugged. "The same way I'm supposed to put up a new roof, I guess. Let's take a break and see how the others are doing."

Alpine rose and stretched. "That sounds like a great idea."

They headed into the woods toward the stream, knowing that Footloose was the next closest teammate. They found him covered in muck, sitting on the bank and staring at the water rushing by. "Footloose, you okay, man?" Alpine asked.

Footloose looked up. "I was just trying to get into the whole dock thing, you know?" he asked. "Like, become the dock, and it will be obvious how it wants to be put together."

"Yeah, that's probably not going to work," Flint commented, rubbing his chin. He looked around. "Didn't you have a lot more wood than this?"

Footloose nodded slowly. "The stream took it, man. There's like, nothing to attach it to."

Flint ran a hand through his hair. This was impossible. How was he supposed to get anything done the way this was organized? He doubted even Duke could pull it off. "Well, we were on our way to check on the others if you want to come."

"Yeah. This place and I don't get along."

The three of them followed the deer paths toward where Bazooka was supposed to be working. He wasn't anywhere near the clearing downstream that was supposed to be the center of the map. Flint unclipped his walkie talkie and called for Bazooka. There was no answer after three tries. Worried, Flint tried Lady Jaye. She answered right away, much to Flint's relief. "Have you seen Bazooka?" he asked her.

"No, but I can hear him singing," she answered. "Hang on." There was a long pause, and then she spoke again. "He's up on the cliff near me."

"On the cliff?" Flint asked. "I'm on my way. Don't go anywhere."

He heard her laugh and respond, "Yeah, no problem."

The three men reached the cliff, but the only sign of their teammates was Lady Jaye's climbing rope hanging down over the rock. Alpine gave it a little tug and muttered, "Why'd she go up there? That's the worst route she could have taken."

"Is there a better way up?" Flint asked.

Alpine nodded and led them around the base of the cliff to another area. It looked like someone else had been through there recently; probably Bazooka. Alpine started climbing, and the others followed in his footsteps.

About fifty feet up, Bazooka's gear lay in a pile. There was no sign of the soldier, though. "Hey, Bazook!" Alpine called. "You up there?"

"Yeah," came the faint reply. "I'm drawing a map!"

"Dummy," Alpine muttered. He began to climb again, and a short while later they all came out on a wide ledge. Bazooka was seated cross-legged on the ground, bent over his clipboard. His tongue peeked out of the corner of his mouth and his brows were furrowed in concentration.

"Bazooka, please keep your radio with you," Flint admonished. "You had me worried."

Bazooka looked up and smiled. "Sorry. All that stuff was too heavy," he replied. He held out the clipboard to Flint. "Whaddya think?"

Flint looked down at the drawing. It showed the river, the mountain peak they were standing on, and several trees drawn in classic cartoon style.

"Very nice," Alpine commented, looking over Flint's shoulder. "I'll hang it on the fridge when we get back to base."

Flint tried very hard to think of something nice to say. "Um, the river is pretty accurate," he told Bazooka, whose face lit up. "And those are really good trees." Duke was going to laugh his ass off when they returned. Flint sighed. "Let's find Lady Jaye."

Alpine led the way again, but they had to stop when it became apparent the ledge didn't continue all the way to her position. Flint radioed her again and asked if she could work her way over.

"Well…I don't think I can," she responded. "I'm—kind of stuck."

Flint sent Alpine over alone, and it took them almost an hour to work their way back. Lady Jaye clung to the rocks and picked her way carefully, but at last they were all on the ledge together.

They sat looking out over the view. It was stunning. The river shone in the sunlight and the trees stretched to the horizon. The silence lasted several minutes, until Footloose said what they were all thinking. "This is such a blow-out, man."

Flint suggested they go eat lunch before doing anything else. At this rate they'd be here a lot longer than a month before everything got done. He ground his teeth in frustration the whole way back to camp.

He stopped short in the clearing. "I forgot we have to eat pork and beans again," he growled.

Footloose nodded. "My stomach already hurts,"

"At least you didn't have to sleep next to Bazooka. It gives a whole new meaning to his code name," Alpine quipped.

Lady Jaye sat on one of the logs, glancing over at the building. "The repairs are looking real good, Flint," she said dryly.

"Is the generator up yet or do we have to build a fire?" Bazooka asked.

"The generator is not even close to running," Alpine answered, stacking wood in a pile.

"Let me get the fire," Bazooka told him. "I grew up camping in Minnesota."

"Land of a thousand lakes," Footloose said. "That must have been serene."

"Yeah, we had a house right on the water with a dock and canoes… we used to fish all of the time, and—"

"You had a dock?" Footloose interrupted.

"Sure. Built it myself."

Footloose stared at him. He shot a glance at Flint and said, "Hey, man, what say we pull a little switcheroo on the jobs? I'll try my hand at mapping if you put the dock together."

They turned toward Flint. He met their earnest gazes and let his shoulders drop. "Do you even know how to make a topographical map?" he asked Footloose.

"No, but it's gotta be better than letting all the wood float away," he answered.

Alpine spoke up. "Speaking of trading jobs, anyone know how to fix a generator?"

"Sure, man. No problem. I can fix all kinds of stuff," Footloose answered.

"Great!" Alpine exclaimed. "But that leaves me making the map…"

"Not if you want to climb mountains instead," Lady Jaye said.

"Don't you like it?" Alpine asked with a laugh.

"No. I'm… kinda…" the rest of her sentence was inaudible.

"What was that?" Alpine asked, putting a hand to his ear.

She looked up with a glare. "I'm afraid of heights, okay?"

The others chuckled. "No way. I didn't think you were scared of anything!" Bazooka exclaimed.

She sighed. "I can't make a map, either, though."

Flint cleared his throat. "I can."

They all looked up at him. He met their gazes one by one. "Change of plans," he said.


	4. Beach Head's Team, Assignments

Beach Head, true to his word, woke his team before it was completely light out. They arose with mutters and groans. Airtight unwrapped himself from the remains of the still collapsed tent and prodded at the embers of the fire. They stood in a circle as Beach Head paced around them. "You know your assignments," he told them. "If you've got a problem with 'em, I don't want to hear about it." He put a few logs on the smoldering fire and grabbed the largest pot. Slamming the pot down on its trivet, he faced them again. "Let's just eat and get out there."

Everyone grumbled a little at having to eat the metallic tasting stew for breakfast, but didn't dare complain too loudly. They finished in silence, and Beach Head took his turn at cleaning as the others gathered the gear they would need for that day's work.

Forty minutes later, Mainframe was lost. He stared down at his GPS device. He knew how they worked, of course, and he could tell his coordinates. The problem was he didn't know where he was supposed to be. Nor had he marked the camp's coordinates before he started. That had probably been a mistake, he admitted to himself. He turned in a circle. All of the trees looked the same. He shrugged, drew a dot on the paper with his present coordinates labeled clearly, and walked into the trees.

Airtight stood watching the small river as it burbled merrily through the woods. He looked at his pile of supplies and scratched his head. It couldn't be too difficult to divert a stream. It was just a matter of knowing where you wanted the water to go and making it go there. He knew where he wanted it to go… he picked up a shovel and started digging.

Cover Girl stared at the pieces of metal heaped on the ground. Once assembled, they would make a short tower that could be wired to the radio they'd brought with them. Lying in pieces, they didn't even look like they belonged together. She shrugged and pulled the first piece out. It couldn't possibly be that hard. There was only one way that they would go together, and it was just a matter of figuring out how.

Shipwreck walked around the outside of the building. It looked terrible, but not as bad as everyone seemed to think. Heck, he had slept in worse places. Still, a job was a job, and he would do his best to shirk it. He climbed to the roof and selected the flattest intact area. Settling in, he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Beach Head had looked over the generator, but decided it could wait. They didn't need electricity anyway; what would they do with it—cook the stew a different way? What he needed was a good physical work-out. Grabbing a shovel and pick axe, he made his way into the trees to find a spot to dig the first latrine.

Shipwreck woke up when his stomach told him it was lunch time. He peeked over the edge of the roof, but Beach Head was nowhere to be seen. He jumped down and headed inside the building. He could at least start lunch, and Beach Head might even let him take a break later as a reward for getting the food ready without being told. An hour later, Shipwreck had eaten everything he'd made and no one else had shown up. With a shrug, he headed into the woods to find his teammates.

Beach Head wasn't hard to find. Shipwreck simply followed the sound of loud angry cursing. He walked into the small clearing and looked into the deep hole. The drill sergeant's head was at least a foot below the rim. "Hey, Beach, I think that's deep enough. How often do you go to the bathroom, anyway?" Shipwreck asked.

Beach Head leapt up to catch the rim of the hole and pull himself out. "These are supposed to last a long time, Shipwreck. Eight feet is standard." He brushed the dirt from his uniform. "What do you need, Wreck? I thought I told you not to bother me with problems."

"Jeez, touchy aren't ya? I just wondered if everyone was going to come in for lunch."

Beach Head whipped his head up. "They haven't come in yet?" He grabbed his radio and hit the button. "Airtight, this is Beach Head. Where are you?"

A crackled reply came out of his speaker. "I'm working on the river. Where am I supposed to be?"

"Just checking; you didn't come in for lunch."

"You're letting us eat? Gee, thanks, Beach Head."

"Stow it. Dinner is still under debate. Get in and eat something."

Beach Head hit the button again. "Mainframe. You catch that?"

"Yeah. I'd come in but—" The rest of the response broke off there.

Beach Head smacked the radio and tried again. There wasn't any answer from Mainframe at all this time. Beach Head shrugged. "I'm sure he's fine." He turned to Shipwreck. "Go on back to camp. I'm gonna call Cover Girl in, too." He walked off toward where the radio tower was supposed to be put up, and Shipwreck smiled. Beach Head could have called her on the radio too.

Beach Head walked the quarter mile to the little clearing on a hill that they had decided would have the best radio reception. Cover Girl was struggling with a long metal beam, trying to get it to stand upright against a similar one that was already sticking up out of the ground. He walked close enough to reach out and grab the beam above her head, and she jumped when his hand came into view. "Where are you going with this?" he asked her.

She put her full weight into the push, and the beam fell into place. She stepped back and turned around to face him. "I'm putting up the radio tower. What does it look like?"

Examining her work critically, Beach Head replied, "It looks like you don't know how to build a radio tower."

"So assign me something else."

He gave her a stern look. "I'd get in trouble if I switched around our assignments."

She gave an exasperated sigh. "I could fix that generator for you in about ten minutes…"

Beach Head shook his head. "No, Duke gave me that job." He held up a hand as she opened her mouth to argue again. "Give it up. Let's go get lunch."

Shipwreck didn't mind fixing lunch again as it meant he got to eat again, too. The four Joes sat around the glowing embers and downed their meal. Cover Girl looked up after finishing her bowl and asked, "Where's Mainframe?"

Beach Head shrugged. "Don't know. He was probably too far out to bother coming back in for lunch. Got him on the radio, though, so I'm sure he's fine."

Shipwreck glanced at the ranger out of the corner of his eyes. That wasn't entirely true. Mainframe's signal had given out, which meant that he was out of the four mile range of the powerful walkie talkies. "I could go look for him," he suggested.

"Give him a chance, Ship," Beach Head responded. "If he's not back by morning, I'll go get him. He's got a GPS; he can't possibly get lost."

Cover Girl, Airtight, and Shipwreck exchanged a look that plainly said, _He's lost_. They finished eating and went back to work.

By evening, Beach Head had dug three latrine pits and had dragged over lumber to make crude but serviceable shelters over them. Since the light was fading, however, he decided it could wait for the next day. Pleased with his work, he walked back to camp, expecting to find the others already there.

Camp was deserted. There was no sign even of Shipwreck, who was supposed to be working on the building. Beach Head gave a mental shrug and rekindled the fire. They would come in when they got hungry enough.

Shipwreck looked up into the darkening sky. The outline of the radio tower was barely distinguishable from the clouds behind it, but at least they had finished quite a lot before the light had faded. Tomorrow Cover Girl should be able to tackle the rest on her own. He smiled. They had a whole month to complete their assignments, and this had only taken a day. Things were looking up. He turned to the former model. "So, aren't you glad I came over to visit?"

Cover Girl glanced over at him. "Yeah. Thanks, Shipwreck," she grudgingly conceded. "Not that it looks a whole lot better than what I was doing." She picked up her strewn gear and stuffed it into the pack. "We'd better get back before it's totally dark."

They turned toward the trees. The clearing in the canopy had let quite a bit of the last light of the day fall upon the hill, but the woods were pitch-black. "Uh, I've got bad news for you, Cover Girl," Shipwreck said, pointing toward the trail. "It's already dark in there."

They stood for a moment looking at the imposing line of trees. Finally Cover Girl gave a shake and said strongly, "It's just a normal forest. Nothing to be frightened of."

Shipwreck nodded. "Sure. Animals are more scared of us than we are of them." Neither of them moved.

Something crackled in the undergrowth behind them. Shipwreck started forward, nearly shouting, "Just two large, inedible humans heading back to camp!" Cover Girl gave a nervous glance over her shoulder and followed.

Airtight looked over his work one last time. He was pretty happy with what he had accomplished so far. At the rate he was digging, the stream would be happily burbling near the building within a week. Then he could relax for the rest of the month. Assuming, of course, that Beach Head didn't force him to help with the building repairs. Maybe he should work a little more slowly tomorrow. He nodded. He had four weeks, why not use them? He piled his gear and headed back toward camp and dinner.

Beach Head looked up when Airtight walked into the light of the fire. Airtight looked around and asked, "Did everyone else go to bed already?"

The ranger shook his head, looking slightly worried. "No, they never showed up." He leaned over and took a second bowl of stew. "If I have to spend the day looking for them tomorrow instead of working, they're not going to be happy campers."

Airtight took a bite of his meal. "Send me out," he suggested. "No reason for you to stop working. I promise I'll work even harder when I get back."

"Fine," Beach Head growled. "But everyone better get their work done." He stood and stretched. "Bunch of slackers," he muttered.

Airtight watched him walk away. This did not look good. He hoped the others were alright. They would both be in trouble if they managed to lose more than half the team. Oh, well. He'd find them tomorrow, he was sure.


	5. Flint's Team

Flint, Lady Jaye, Bazooka, Alpine, and Footloose sat around the campfire. They had decided on their new assignments and had agreed that Duke didn't need to know about the switch. Flint felt relieved, confident that his team could finish the tasks ahead of schedule and maybe even head home early.

Each of them would be working now in an area in which they had at least some experience. Flint had been surprised when Lady Jaye admitted that she knew how to repair the house. "Habitat for Humanity," she had explained with a shrug. "My mother wanted to make my resume look good, so she signed me up. Turns out I liked it. I worked with them every summer during college."

They headed out to their new tasks that afternoon. Bazooka worked on the dock, Alpine climbed from peak to peak testing radio reception, Footloose started repairing the generator, Lady Jaye started cleaning the inside of the house, and Flint began work on the topographical map. The work went quickly and smoothly; by nightfall, each of them had a good start and were pleased with the progress.

Meeting back for dinner—more pork and beans—they recounted their accomplishments and exchanged notes. Flint praised each of them in turn, feeling slightly guilty, but knowing that he had made the right decision.

Lady Jaye joined him on his log after dinner while the others took their turn at cleaning up. "Flint, I know that this is going pretty well, and I appreciate your open-mindedness on the assignment switch." She lowered her voice. "I wasn't sure if I should say anything, but…I overheard Duke and Scarlett talking about us before we left."

Flint raised his eyebrows. "You were eavesdropping?" Then he grinned. "What were they saying?"

She gave a wry smile. "I think I was supposed to overhear. I was working in the garage with Shipwreck—remember when Duke asked us to wash his jeep? I couldn't figure out at the time what we'd done to merit the extra work, but I think it was part of the plan." She fidgeted with her canteen a moment. "Basically, Duke and Scarlett were saying that if either of the teams pulled off our assignments it would be a miracle. They let a few hints drop about the food situation, too." She looked up at Flint, meeting his gaze. "I got the feeling that they were setting us up, but also that he wanted to give the teams a chance to succeed despite stacking the odds against us. They were talking where Shipwreck and I couldn't help but overhear."

Flint nodded in understanding. "I think I get it. Duke is watching us. Not just me, but all of us. He must have made sure that someone from each team knew ahead of time what was going to happen…" His voice trailed off as he looked in the direction of the building. "Wait a minute. If you knew about the food—"

Lady Jaye smiled. "Yep. That's why I packed the extra bags. Knowing how Bazooka feels about food, I let him in on it, too. I wasn't sure it was allowed, but I did check with Duke and asked if it was okay if I brought extra supplies, and if we were allowed to fish or supplement our meals in other ways. Based on how he was smiling, I think he was pleased I figured it out."

"Did Shipwreck figure it out too?"

This time Lady Jaye laughed. "I don't think so," she replied. "I tried to tell him to look into it, but he wouldn't listen."

Flint chuckled. "Looks like we've got one up on Beach Head's group. Not that it's a contest, of course."

"Of course." Lady Jaye glanced at the returning figures of the others. "One last thing. I'm not trying to get out of work, but…I wouldn't mind being transferred to KP duty for a while. I can still work on the house, of course, but we're going to finish the other assignments ahead of time now, which gives us plenty of time to really work on the repairs later. It would be a lot easier with everyone working on it together, anyway."

The warrant officer nodded. "If it means eating anything other than pork and beans, you have my complete support. But I thought you can't cook?"

Lady Jaye gave him a knowing look. "That was just a rumor I started."

"What?" Flint laughed. "Why?"

"Oh, come on, Flint. A woman on a military base who can cook? Everyone would expect me to spend all of my time in the kitchen. Even Roadblock gets frustrated sometimes with all of the requests he gets, and he intimidates the hell out of people. Think what it would be like for me."

"You've got a good point," Flint conceded. "Does that mean we get a real breakfast tomorrow?"

"I'm no gourmet chef, but I think I can manage some pretty edible camp food."

"In that case, I think everyone will be thrilled to help with the house. I know Alpine will be happy just to have Bazooka's digestive system off of overdrive." He looked over at the small tents. "Really, really happy."

Alpine crawled out of his tent in the morning, still half asleep. He stood and blinked for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Am I dreaming?" he called out. He took a few steps toward the smells that had awakened him. "I swear I smell coffee. And bacon…" He followed his nose toward the fire, where Lady Jaye was working over the flames.

She looked up with a wide grin. "It's not a dream, Alpine." She gestured to the scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and coffee. "Help yourself. It's still camp food, but it's better than what we've been eating."

Alpine sat down with a contented sigh. He held a plate piled with food. Real food. The others joined them in the fire circle, exchanging happy looks. "Wow, where did this come from?" Footloose asked.

"Thank Lady Jaye," Flint said. "She packed extra food, just in case." He looked sheepishly over at her. "I forgot to apologize for getting mad that you wanted to take all the extra bags."

"Don't worry about it. You had no way of knowing."

"What's she talking about?" Alpine asked through a mouthful of food.

"The pork and beans weren't a mistake," Bazooka told him.

"Duke did set this up on purpose," Flint added. "He wanted to see what we'd do with horrible food and terrible assignments. But he also let Lady Jaye overhear him talking about it, I guess to see if she'd do anything." He finished his plate and set it aside. "You did technically go over my head," he mused. "And I'm disobeying orders. We're either going to pass with flying colors or fail miserably."

Alpine patted his stomach. "At least we'll fail comfortably. I feel like I could climb a mountain today." He gave an exaggerated start of surprise. "Oh, right—that's my job."

"Hey, Bazooka—did you bring the fishing gear?" Lady Jaye asked.

"Yeah, in the extra bag," he said, standing up. "I'll take it with me when I go to work on the dock."

"Wow, fresh fish for dinner," Footloose sighed. "Catch about ten for me, Bazooka."

Lady Jaye gathered all of the pots and pans as the others gathered their gear. She planned on working on the inside of the house for a while, then taking a break to check on Bazooka's fishing and to look around for some fresh food to add to the meal.

Alpine reached the top of another peak and turned in a circle, holding the small antenna at arm's length. It looked like he'd found his spot for a transmitter. Now it was just a matter of getting all the equipment up there. He doubted it would take more than a few days.

Flint made another notation on the paper. He was finished with about a fifth of the map. He checked his watch. Almost lunch time. Taking a deep breath of the fresh mountain air, he packed his gear and started the trek back to camp.

Bazooka pounded the last piling into the water. The base of the dock was finished and secure. He could easily complete it in a couple more days. It was heavy work, but anything was better than trying to figure out complicated equipment. His stomach gave a loud rumble, telling him it was time for lunch. Lady Jaye had already collected the trout he'd caught that morning and promised that if he caught more, he could stuff himself silly at dinner.

Stalker faded back into the trees as Bazooka neared his observation point. The big man walked by, completely oblivious of his presence. Stalker made a few notes on his clipboard. Flint's team was handling the situation much better than Duke had anticipated. He smiled to himself. It was time to make things more complicated.

The afternoon was uneventful, other than a close-up encounter with a bear. Lady Jaye laughed off the incident, promising to leave most of the berries for the wildlife in the future. The pay off, however, was worth it. Though lunch had been more prepared camp food, dinner that night was almost all freshly gathered or caught.

The team savored the delicious trout, baked in the coals and stuffed with mushrooms. Lady Jaye had also delved into the supply of vegetables she'd brought, preparing a side dish of potatoes and carrots. Dessert was a blueberry cobbler, made with what had escaped the bear's attention.

Alpine leaned back with a smile. "This mission is turning out to be a piece of cake. Or in this case, fresh blueberry cobbler. Jaye, I don't blame you for hiding your talent. I wouldn't have left you alone if I had known you could cook like this."

"Yeah," Bazooka agreed, helping himself to a third trout. "This is great."

"Hey, Bazooka," Alpine called, "Tell the bear story again."

Lady Jaye blushed. Unbeknownst to her, Bazooka had watched her entire encounter with the big brown bear. He was too far away to help, but not too far away to see what happened.

Bazooka stood up. "Well, Lady Jaye was picking blueberries, and I went to find her 'cause I had already caught four fish. So I walk out of the clearing, and there's this huge bear standing over her. I tried to yell, but she didn't hear me. Jaye looks over her shoulder, though, and sees the bear." He imitated her facial expression, eliciting laughter from the others. Then he raised his arms, playing the part of the curious bear. "So this bear is trying to get its mouth into her bag, and she's all like, 'get out of there, you big beast!'" he finished in a falsetto voice.

Alpine leaned over to Flint. "Sometimes I wouldn't trade him for anything."

Flint nodded, chuckling at Bazooka's storytelling.

"So Jaye takes a swing at the bear and smacks it on the nose." Bazooka imitated the bear again, looking hurt and confused. "It rubbed its nose and stood up all the way and let out this really loud roar." Bazooka did his best to make the same sound. "I don't think Lady Jaye expected that…her eyes got really wide and she dropped to the ground."

"I had just realized that I hit a 600 pound bear," Lady Jaye laughed. "I don't know what I was thinking. But it works with Gung Ho when he's getting into my stuff," she said with a shrug.

"And the bear just rifled through the berries in the bag and walked off," Bazooka finished. "You were really lucky," he told her. "It must not have been very hungry."

"Maybe you smelled like pork and beans," Alpine commented, making a disgusted face.

Flint watched his team, feeling a swell of pride. He'd been silly to worry about their performance. Despite their quirks, his teammates were doing superbly and working well together. He had no doubts about finishing this mission.

Stalker looked down at the items he'd stolen from the group. They should still be able to make do, but it wouldn't be easy. If they managed without this equipment, he would have to find other ways to interrupt their work. He didn't like having to be such a bastard—not really—but Duke wanted to see how they performed under pressure. If they could take everything he threw at them, their evaluations would be outstanding. If not, well…he was sure Duke wouldn't be too hard on them. He took out an MRE, wishing he was sitting around the fire with the others and eating real food. Well, the faster he could force them to call in for extraction, the sooner he would be back on base.


	6. Beach Head's Team

Beach Head woke Airtight early in the morning. The ranger actually looked a little anxious over the disappearance of the rest of the team. He barked orders for a half hour, making Airtight fix breakfast and clean up, then marched off toward his latrines, leaving orders to contact him as soon as the others were found.

Airtight made sure that all of his gear was in order, including a med kit, and headed toward the area where the radio tower was being built. He planned on staying away from camp for as long as possible; he wasn't sure when Beach Head would notice the itching powder Airtight had liberally sprinkled into the drill sergeant's outer clothing, but he planned on being far away when he did.

The woods were noisy with the sound of insects and birds. It would have been relaxing had Airtight not been worried about his friends. He looked for signs of their passage, but tracking wasn't his specialty. Reaching the clearing on the hill, he saw that the radio tower was partially constructed, but there was no sign of Cover Girl. He called for her a few times, just in case, but there was no answer. He chose a direction at random and started walking.

Cover Girl and Shipwreck sat huddled at the back of a shallow cave, sleeping. They had well and truly gotten lost the night before. Cover Girl had insisted they try to find the river and follow it back to camp. The first part had been a success, but instead of finding the river, they fell into it. They had emerged streaming with water a few hundred yards downstream, and stumbled into this questionable shelter. Both had been too cold and weary to continue, and had agreed to spend the night there.

Shipwreck blinked his eyes open, taking a few moments to remember where he was. The stone in front of his face made him assume that he'd passed out in an alley again, but then it all came back in a rush. He sat up, dislodging Cover Girl from his shoulder, and she hit the ground with a thump.

"Ow! Shipwreck!" She looked around blearily, recalling the night's events with a sigh. "Oh, right. We're still lost." She stood and dusted off her clothing, stepping out of the cave and into the sunlight. Shipwreck followed, trying to work the kinks out of his neck.

"So if we follow the river, we'll get back to camp, right?" Shipwreck said, starting toward the sound of rushing water.

Cover Girl followed, wishing she could stop and take a bath. She was filthy, hungry, tired, and sore. Not that she hadn't been through worse, but this mission was supposed to be an easy one. She had expected mosquitoes, flies, and brambles, but not a night of wandering lost in the woods followed by a dunking in the river. At least she was fairly far along on her assignment.

It was only a few short bends in the stream before they saw where Airtight had been working. He had dug a long trench at an angle to the stream, but had left the ground intact nearest to the water. Once the digging was done, he could remove the last section of dirt and flood the trench, diverting the water toward camp.

Shipwreck and Cover Girl followed the line that Airtight had dug, assuming that it would point them in the right direction. They were both looking forward to getting something to eat, not even caring that it would be the same thing they had eaten for each meal the day before.

"Do you think Beach will give us a break since we've been out all night?" Shipwreck asked. "I could use a nap."

Cover Girl ducked under a branch, holding it so that it wouldn't smack Shipwreck as he passed under. "I doubt it. He's probably mad that we got lost."

"Well, it's not like he was worried enough to come looking for us."

"I'm sure he thought we could take care of ourselves. And we did."

"Nah, he just doesn't care about us," Shipwreck commented.

"Well, he cares about getting the work done," Cover Girl replied. "He would have come after us eventually, if only to put us back on task."

Shipwreck snorted. "He's a big bully. If he isn't barking orders at someone, he's not happy."

"He's just dedicated," Cover Girl replied. "Really, really dedicated."

"He'd better not make me do pushups."

The two teammates trekked on, passing close to a separate, smaller camp. Recondo watched them crash through the brush, making enough noise that they probably wouldn't have heard him if he had started singing the national anthem. He shook his head. Neither of them were trained in jungle warfare, that was certain. It would make his job that much easier. Recondo hefted the bag he had prepared over his shoulder and headed toward the radio tower he'd watched them build the day before.

Airtight figured he'd walked about two miles from camp. That would, he hoped, put him in radio range of Mainframe. He pushed the transmit button and called for his teammate.

The answer came immediately. "Airtight! Thank God! I'm lost!"

"No kidding," Airtight replied. "Where are you?"

"How should I know?" Mainframe's voice sounded slightly panicky. "I'm in the middle of a bunch of trees!"

Airtight sighed. "Didn't you track your progress with the GPS yesterday?"

"Obviously not, or I wouldn't be lost!"

"Fine. Did you pass any landmarks?"

"I passed a lot of trees."

"Can you be more specific?" Airtight couldn't help but chuckle a little. The computer expert was obviously well out of his comfort zone.

"More specific? I passed five thousand pine trees and three thousand trees that weren't pines. Does that help?" Mainframe replied sarcastically.

Airtight asked, "How many dead trees did you pass?"

"What? Airtight, this isn't funny!"

"Relax, I'm just joking with you. I've got the camp coordinates written down. Use your GPS and head back." He relayed the numbers to a very relieved Mainframe, who assured him that he should be able to find his way back now.

Airtight stayed in place for a little while, keeping within radio range until he was sure that Mainframe was comfortable using the GPS to make his way. Then he turned around himself and followed his own trail back toward camp. He planned on searching the area near the radio tower more thoroughly, hoping to find signs of the other missing Joes.

Beach Head looked up from his construction work when he heard Shipwreck's voice drifting through the trees. The sailor walked into the little clearing, followed by Cover Girl. They both were covered in mud, but seemed to be otherwise healthy. They stopped when they saw him, shifting guiltily from foot to foot.

"Hey, Beach. How's it going?" Shipwreck asked nervously.

Beach Head crossed his arms over his chest and regarded the two Joes. "What happened to you two?" He idly scratched at his sleeve, and they saw him clench his teeth.

"We fell in the river last night. It was dark, and we didn't want to walk in the wrong direction, so we slept in a cave," Cover Girl replied. Beach Head's eyes narrowed, and she rushed to fill the silence. "We got a lot of work done, though. The radio tower looks really good. We just didn't realize it was getting dark, and…" her voice trailed off as Beach Head's expression gained an even darker cast.

"What do you mean, '_we_ got a lot of work done?'"

"Hey, I was just helping out a teammate," Shipwreck defended himself.

"You're supposed to be working on the repairs," Beach Head admonished with a growl. He was now rubbing at his shoulder, grimacing.

"Don't you even care that we were lost?" Cover Girl asked angrily.

"Well, you're not lost now, are you?" Beach Head would never admit that he had been worried. "Get back to camp, clean up, and work on the assignments you were given." He dismissed them with a gesture.

When they were far enough away not to be heard, Shipwreck leaned over and said, "You know we were following Airtight's trench, right?"

Cover Girl nodded, not understanding. "So?"

"So Beach Head is gonna be in for a surprise when Airtight finishes and a big flood of water hits those latrines."

The tank jockey's face lit up. "Oooh, he's gonna be really mad." She was quiet for a moment, then asked, "Why was he scratching so much?"

Shipwreck shrugged. "Must be overdue for his monthly bath."

"That joke is getting really old, Ship." Cover girl sighed.

"Who's joking?"

Their tents came into view, and they both gave a sigh of relief to be back at base camp. They prepared and ate five cans of stew between the two of them, and relaxed against the logs around the fire. Within a few moments, they were both napping peacefully.

Mainframe stumbled into camp a short while later, hardly even noticing his sleeping teammates. He opened and ate two cans of the stew cold, dragged his pillow from the tent, and joined them in slumber.

Beach Head pounded the last timber into place. The first latrine shed was finished, complete with a wooden seat and latching door. He stood back, pulling his sweat soaked shirt away from his chest. He hoped he hadn't gotten into poison ivy; something had made him itch like crazy all day. He'd have to try a rinse in the stream later. First, though, he planned on checking on everyone's progress. He headed toward the radio tower first.

A half hour later he stomped into camp, eyes blazing. Seeing the three forms on the ground, he clenched his teeth so hard his jaw ached. "Get up, you lazy excuses for soldiers!" he bellowed. The three Joes sat up, blinking, eyes widening at the sight of Beach Head towering over them. He rounded on Cover Girl first. "I thought you said you'd nearly gotten the radio tower up!"

Cover Girl's mouth opened in a confused "O." She looked at Shipwreck, who shrugged. "But we did, Beach," she protested. "It was at least halfway done."

"'Halfway done' to me does not mean one support beam sticking up out of the ground." Beach Head grimaced, clenching his fists to keep from scratching at his back.

"What?" Shipwreck exclaimed, flopping back down on the ground. "Oh, all that hard work! What happened?"

"Well I doubt bears snuck in overnight and undid the bolts," the ranger growled. "Cover Girl, get to work. You too, Shipwreck. And no sneaking off like you did last night."

"We did work, Beach Head, honest!" Shipwreck did his best boy scout imitation, holding his hand over his heart, but even Cover Girl had to admit that it just made him look suspicious.

Beach Head just turned away, shaking his head. He called over his shoulder, "Don't think I forgot about you, Mainframe. There's still a lot of daylight left. Get working on that map." With that, he disappeared back into the trees.


End file.
